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Mum says that I was creative from the start, constantly dressing up, prancing round the living room, putting on plays and shows.

By the time I met Chris, I'd been in the music business for three years, performing under the name Billie.

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A couple of days later, he called and asked me out. The question now was what the hell was I going to do about Rich Neville, my on-off boyfriend from the boyband 5ive? I'd gone from being a bubbly, fun person, always wanting to have a great time, to this withdrawn person perpetually dragging on a cigarette. I asked where we were going and he said: "To meet an old friend of mine.

I had just done Top Of The Pops and by the time I got to the pub in Belgravia with my friend Nicki, it was closing time. We went to another bar, had a few drinks, then went on to Stringfellow's. ""I've just made beans on toast." "Me too." It was a sign. We'd been together for two years and had fallen into a destructive cycle of rowing, splitting up and then getting back together. I thought I knew what it was like to be hounded by the Press, but I knew nothing. I suddenly realised that all I'd ever been was a minnow. His name's Fred and he's having a party."Fred was blind and lived in an old people's home.

I told my mum I'd taken the morning-after pill and had had an allergic reaction to it. She'd noticed how much thinner I'd got, but maybe it was easier for her to believe the lie. In September my single Something Deep Inside went in at Number 4. The treadmill was running at a furious pace yet we were going backwards.

My week in hospital made the cystitis disappear but it did nothing for my anorexia and now I had got used to the numbing effects of sleeping pills. At one point I managed five days without solid food.

His enthusiasm for life is engaging, inspiring, but in the beginning I was too knackered to take it all on. " "Yeah, Christmas Day."I wondered what to say to my family. Just as Mum put the prawn cocktails on the table, I announced I was going on holiday with Chris. When I climbed out of the Mercedes, I gave my driver a bundle of cash and thanked him for his mercy mission. He was wearing a red polo-neck jumper with little white stars on it, Christmas personified. He took my hand, led me into the kitchen and gave me an enormous kiss; a proper, full-on serious kiss - our first. The following day we flew to Madeira and, just like that, "Billie" the pop princess disappeared. When we came back I moved straight into Chris's flat in London and didn't leave his side except for when he went to work.

He said: "Life is happening and you aren't even aware of it. Chris told me he was going to Madeira at Christmas. I couldn't do that to them, but then some relatives came over in the morning, all bringing CDs for me to sign. I'd finally kissed my prince and, in our special version of the old fairytale, he let me turn back into a frog. From that moment on we lived in each other's pockets. I had effectively walked out of a singing career but I still had some outstanding commitments and I was due to release another single. I couldn't be bothered with forcing myself to be something I wasn't any more. There were too many other things to try, to do, to see, to taste. We might go to the park, a restaurant, a gallery, a museum: all those things London had to offer that I had never bothered to sample.

We'd been drinking the night before and I was still in my sweat pants, had black mascara all over my face and was wafting around in my own personal cloud of vodka fumes. If you don't want it, sell it and give it to charity. Then a record-label manager signed me up after spotting me in a television advert for Smash Hits magazine.

It turned out he hadn't done his radio show that morning. In 1998, when I was 15, I was the youngest female artist ever to debut at Number 1 with my single Because We Want To.

But after TFI, I started pushing myself harder than ever, promoting my album, Walk Of Life. I was taking laxatives, having some wild nights on the town and working a minimum of 16 hours a day. I should have had antibiotics and taken time to get over it, but I was working too hard. Five minutes after arriving at a bar in Soho, I collapsed.

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